Friday, February 24, 2017

What I've Learned in My First Three Months of Parenting

  • If you have to ask, "Is that pee?" the answer is yes.
  • Babies are noisy. Do not be alarmed. He will sound like he is choking, forgetting how to breathe, has a small animal caught inside him. He's fine.
  • Your new nightly hobby is looking through all your photos of the baby and wondering how he's gotten so big. There will be tears.
  • If you think you've got your baby figured out, don't say it out loud. If he knows you're onto him, he'll change and you can forget everything you thought you knew.
  • Don't gloat that you put that baby to sleep. That baby is never really asleep. He's waiting until you start doing something you're really looking forward to. Like looking at your phone on the toilet or eating something hot or sleeping.
  • Dad's way may seem lazy or wrong, but damned if it doesn't work out for him every time.

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