June 20, 2008
Jane's mom rolled her eyes. It was the same eye-roll Jane had given her between the ages of 12 and 19. Now her mom was giving it back to her. It said she was stupid. It said she should know better. It said she shouldn't have told her mom about getting back together with Eli.
"It's your life, Jane."
She was patronizing her. Jane had thrown that line out there during those same 7 eye-rolling years. "It's my life, Mom." Now she realized it really was her life, and she wasn't sure she was ready for that responsibility. Maybe her mom was right about him. Or maybe Eli was right about them. Or maybe she was just looking for someone to blame for whatever came out of her decision.
All she really knew was that her mom and Eli had at least agreed at one point, more or less. "You deserve better than him anyway," her mom had told her just after Eli broke up with her the second, most recent time. One of the reasons Eli had cited for the break-up was that she deserved better than him. Just because they both knew it, didn't make it right, did it?
Jane thought about it as she waited for Eli to pick her up for dinner. She sat in the tall leather chair in the living room, the one that gave her a view of the street allowing her to see him arrive and meet him at the door to avoid unnecessary chit-chat with her parents. She waited ten, twenty, thirty minutes, making sure she didn't get too comfortable and mess up the hair she'd spent too much time fixing. After 35 minutes, she started losing hope. After 40, her hair did, too.
Later that night, when a drunk text came from him explaining he'd gone out with friends, Jane was still recovering from the I-told-you-so dancing in her mother's eyes all evening. She deserved better than him. Just because she knew it, didn't make it right, did it?